my_lovely_life____haha

sad scared lonely

OMG I just typed all this stuff and it disapeared.i'm pretty effin pissed.

gah!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm tears. I poured my whole heart out on to this computer and then away it went


omg i'm world is crashing before my eyes. I'm losing people i thought could never go.
Nothing is stable. I'm scared. I did go off on this whole long tangent about my friend jenni and how she changed
but i don't feel like talking about her right now.
after seeing everything i wrote just up and be gone it shows me how easily things can change
and how nothing i have is stable.
I'm so scared
I've been losing friends my whole life but the whole time i've been losing them.. i've been gaining new ones.

but at this rate... i'll lose them all before i make new ones. & no i don't mean i haven't made any new friends but i'm not making them as fast as i'm losing them.

i really upset about my friend jenni... but on top of that school is starting back in a week
i'm sooo scared of growing up. In 1 year... not even 1 year. in 2 semesters.
omg
I still don't know what i want to be when i grow up.
gah
a little late on that huh?
i'll be in huge debt and.....
omg

i just don't know how things will be.

me brent & cory can't live together forever.
i really thought me & jenni would live together but she's changed so much and is moving to chaple hill with other people.
we had planned on it... but i guess things changes

things change people change and life goes on.
things are supposed to change.
but i;m scared of change.

i have nothing stable.

me and cory and brent will grow up and go our separate ways and lead our own lives.
where will i go?
who will i be?
where will i live?
where wil i work?

I'm SOOOOO SCARED OF GROWING UP AND IN 2 SEMESTERS I WILL BE DECLARED A "GROWN UP"

besides soooo many people in my family being sick, all my friends changing, growing up, and
soon to be in debt,... i'm lonely.

I'm sooo lonely. i don't long to be around people.... i long for love, to be cared about by
someone, to care about someone,
to have that connection, to connect with some one mentally and physcailly,
I want affection. I'm very lonely physically. I'm lonely mentally too.
I want that connection.

somethings missing!!!!!

posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 1:18 AM