friends
I'm bored
sleepy
hyper
worried
calm
sad
happy
all at the same time.
I'm kind of lonely every night before bed.
it's weird.
I'm too scared of people that like me. it's werid.
i think I miss my parents.
I'm totally jealous of people who parents are a part of their lives.
I left my parents 2 years ago... to maybe never go back to them.
it's sad.
pretty much with out my grandma i'd be poor, lost, & helpless.
she loves me & does so much for me. more than people know.
my childhood wasn't too great...I had some really rough times.
I've been pretty good at pretending it was different or hiding it.
i'm over it.
my family has major issues. I've told them since the time i was little i would do what they did, I wouldn't be like them,
i guess in a way my consider myself better than them... which is wrong.
I'm trying... not very hard but trying to make myself into something.
but i stress way to much and I have been very fortunate to find friends to understand or have been able to put up with me.
it's really werid but every time... i get what I want... I realize it isn't what I wanted at all.
i ruin things.
it's like I think everything has to be bad b/c there's no way it could be good.
i have some good friends.
after moving I realized how bored i am.
i have 2 friends from forever & well they aren't used to me being here.
dana has always been able to make time for me. <3
i miss being able to just call someone & being able to do something. them be just as bored as me
or not be worried about someone else.
but with getting older life becomes more complicated.
some people say I just don't understand. maybe they are right. maybe not.
i understand.
really
but it doesn't change the fact that i have nothing to do
but i guess I'm the one that can change that.
but i don't
all my fault.
i hope i find friends.
i want a soical life.
i'd like to have fun.
i'd like to laugh and giggle.
i'd like to have someone to make me smile.
but i usually just turn those away.
i'm werid.
i'm scared.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 1:44 AM
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