sleep... isn't coming easy
i never like to think about the rest of my life.
right now it seems to be going no where.
i'm so scared that leaving is going to make things worse.
but staying wouldn't be right either.
it's the fact that everything here is kind of in place
where as moving would be starting over.
where will i work?
how will i make money.. enough money?
why can't i be strong?
why can't i do this?
why am i worrying now?
i mean why worry.
everything happens for a reason.
i'm stuck.
it's time to grow up!
right now.
but yet i still have nothing figured out about myself.
i'd just like to know what i want.
why don't i know what i want?
life is too short to dwell.
i'm scared i'm leaving for no reason at all.
yes my mom is sick. but now i'm scared to go see her.
fuck
why am i so scared of bugs.
well the truth is... i don't want to make any of my families problems worse. and i don't want to see them doing badly.
i'm a horrible person.
all i think about is myself when it comes to my family.
i'm scared i'm going to move and become depressed & down.
i'm scared it will be worse than anything that could/ did happen here.
what's a few weeks there until i get myself together?
it's ok?
right?
i want a hug.
i hope i'm making the right decision.
i think this would be so much easier if i had 1 thing figured out.
1 thing.
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