July 25th
I hate & love rock hill.
for so many reason.
OVER MY FAMILY X WHOA!
friends... the ones I have are great & very close.
but constantly busy.
soon I'll be busy, but in my off time I hope I find something to fill it with.
I miss the whole getting to know someone part.
but
usually... that doesn't work out.
& by the time you realize who they are
you've wasted so much time getting to know someone you probably would rather not have around.
but everything happens for a reason
you live & learn
Soon working will fill 5 days of my week.
GOOD.
money$$$
is what I need to fix my troubles,
-credit cards
-loans
-bills
-boredom
can easily be cured with money
as well can i resume my shopping habit
which by the way... I'm kinda scared I'll become addicted
but i'll work on that once I actually have a problem & admit it.
haha
when is ok to be an adult?
when is ok to take your life & it's yours?
b/c mine was mine... but since I moved back it became my grandma's.
i need to live for myself
soon
so soon
it's werid
when I lived in greensboro I had like 3 or 4 lives
I had my Rock Hill life
I had my cornwallis life (which is a sad issuse... drama consumed us)
I had my party city life
I had my social life
in Rock Hill
it's all in one
kind of
maybe not
i'm so stoked on this job
& money
to be able to shop & pay bills will be GREAT
what I've always wanted.
but I'm yerning for something else.
idk
maybe it's human nature to always want?
but in my case I think not
I had a feeling 20 would different.
but life is weird & funny & unpredictable
not everyone's life happens the same way
mine seems way out of order
but i guess for me this is the right order.
I wish i had the guts to try something.
I'm always too worried about the outcome
too worried about what others think
too worried about what may happen
too worried about if it will work out
it's the journey that's the best part, the important part, the learning part
not the outcome.
but i guess until i know that
i'll be held back by what i think
i guess it goes back to me wanting to be good at something
something that i like
something that's mine
but i just haven't found it?
right?
maybe?
i'm not sad, or down, or anything
quite A-OKAY
bored.. & thinking
but I'm always thinking & thinking way too much.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 2:50 AM
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