aug 4 margie nightmare
seriously.... I am not the bitch people make me out to be.
I am only mean & hateful & a bitch IF you've done something.
ONLY.
Bah
how is it that a complete stranger can walk in & fuck my life up?
I'm over it. I don't like her; it's in the past.
BUT
I'm constantly reminded of it EVERYDAY. i hate that almost everyday something brings back a memory of when someone close to me hated me.
it hurts.
it's all over & we now know who the bitch is.
so i know i didn't like jackie. that was my instinct... sorry. But it wasn't her making my life hell.
it was a "friend" lying and telling the only people i knew that i was saying things I wasn't.
she was the one sending messages & IM'ing me all the time pissed about jackie.
she was angry b/c she liked brent.
i just didn't like jackie b/c of my gut. my mom taught me that if you don't like somone... then there's probably a reason why.
THERE WAS.
how did margie fool us for so long.
why did i continue to be nice to her?
it's not that all this matters so much now... but when I wake up with nightmares of it happening again...
i worry.
i get nervous.
i get angry.
i wake up all sweaty & bothered.
i'm typing all this to hopefully get all out of my system.
it's so hard to think that someone i was so close too, one of the only friends i had, someone that at one point i considered a best friend....
it's hard to think that this someone could change over night b/c of some girl.
how is it that margie so easily turned my life upside down twice?
i feel like i should have been meanier to her, sooner.
I guess I learned a lesson... you never know who you're dealing with.
nothing is as stable as it seems.
be careful.
i guess i don't feel like she's gotten what she deserves yet?
i don't like her for SO many reasons.
her fucking nik in my bed... was just the icing on the cake.
i don't want to look back on my college years & think... how i went through some hell b/c of some bitch.
ok i'm done.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 12:50 PM
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