ups& downs
I hate feeling like I deal with everything by myself.
but i do.
it's not good to depend on someone all the time.
but i just hate coming home & going through everything alone.
I want someone to talk too.
someone to make me feel better.
it's werid.
I mean i guess every up has it's down.
great job great pay.
but i come home & all my friends are doing homework or getting ready for bed.
i mean if that's the only thing to complain about then... wow I'm great.
I'm upset about my credit. what's done it done. it just sucks to sacrifice for other people. people who don't care... i could go on.
i'll stop
things are really good.
way better than ever before... really.
i feel like i don't fit in anywhere.
no one has to be the same.
but i feel like i dont fit in with any of my friends.
I feel so out of place.
every where.
i do nothing my friends do.
some friend(s) i don't like anything they do or their friends
at work i stick out like a sore thumb.
i hate feeling left out.
i have HUGE self esteem issues.
& lately they have come back.
I'm so lonely.
i think there's something wrong with me.
has to be.
i've even heard people say it.
sorry.
i never feel good enough ever.
for any reason.
good enough to hang out with people
good enough to be their friend
good enough for school
good enough for work
NEVER good enough for my family.
it sucks.
i'm sorry.
if i knew what it was that was so wrong about me. I'd fix it.
personality?
looks?
intelligence?
out look?
opinions?
thoughts?
skills?
me:
lower in station, rank, degree, or grade
lower in place or position
of comparatively low grade; poor in quality; substandard
less important, valuable, or worthy
acting or performing in a way that is comparatively poor or mediocre
a person inferior to another or others, as in rank or merit.
mediocre, low-quality, second-rate.
it sucks.
I stopped this for a while... kind of.
it's always in the back of my mind.
but feeling left out brings it back fast.
unimportant in everyway
not needed
not wanted
unnecessary
ahh.
oh well.
i'm really lonely. i know i have friends & they are here for me.
sigh.
there are somethings in life.... i think i'll never experience.
oh well,
it happens.
i'd give anything to just cuddle right now.
sigh.
I'll live.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 10:40 PM
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