aug 8th.
warped tour in the morning... I'm excited.
i was asleep... now I can't sleep.
sigh.
it's the story of my life.
lonely.
the the feeling is strange.
i'm beginning to have the feeling i had when i moved to danville.
to want the perfect partner, spouse, boyfriend, husband
is to be totally selfish.
nothing's perfect.
i'm still semi bothered about what i think about when i drink.
i'm having such a good time... yet mega lonely all in one.
i've been really insecure about my looks lately. i really hate always being the ugliest one out of my friends.
it sucks.
i'm not fugly or anything,... every once and a while i have a pretty moment.
i look werid in my clothes... all my friends look cute.
i want my confidence back.
i was asked a question this weekend that i wasn't really prepared to deal with.
i feel totally lame for only having sex with my guy friends.
it's not like i'm a huge whore, i haven't had sex with a lot of people.
everything in my life seems so much more complicated than everyone else's.
it's weird.
too never have been in an actually "labled" relationship with a guy...
is in some ways lame.
& well maybe a good thing.
i haven't done anything except for fun really.
nothing meant anything.
in some ways i think it's a good thing
no one has broken my heart
i'm not still totally stuck on one person
yet it's kinda lonely.
i have no idea what it's like to care about someone & them care back... or for that to truly mean something
i have my whole life ahead of me.
but i just keep finding things that single me out from everyone else.
it sucks.
i don't know why i write in this blog... no one reads it.
i'm usually over what ever i'm writing about by the time i get done typing.
i love my friends & my life right now.
although i'd like to be more productive with my time.
i hate going to sleep alone.
i'd love to cuddle or just get a hug.
sometimes i think i'm way too picky when it comes to guys.
maybe so i won't get hurt.
most all people are ass holes so letting someone new in... is like setting yourself up for disaster.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 12:47 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home