OH DEAR.....
my very dear friend's dad died yesterday. He was like my 2nd dad. He had brain cancer. They gave him 6 months to live 2 years ago. I'm really sad.
and it sucks.... me and her aren't on good terms right now. She hung up on me and i haven't called her back. Weird though i had this big urge to call her last weekend... but i didn't.
After my class today.. I'll be heading home for the funeral.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 10:03 AM
0 comments
I feel like nothing can go right.
I'M SOOOO SAD FOR SOOOOOO MANY REASONS.
I miss my mom... and she won't even talk to me. she's very sick.
sigh.
i want to disappear... not exist.
nothing is ok
and nothing helps.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 10:48 PM
0 comments
there's nothing like not being able to sleep b/c of horrendous crying. Not like a few tears and sniffles.... like screaming, hyperventilating, rivers coming from my eyes crying.
things could be soooooooooooooooooooooooo much worse, but man... i feel like this is the worst it's been.
ALONE
this feeling is the worst
my new favorite song
I hate myself more than I ever let on. IÂm burned out at 22. I lived too fast and I loved too much and IÂll die too young, but I chose this cup that I drank from. Knew what I was getting into. But I couldnÂt let out what I had to keep in. IÂm ashamed of myself and unspeakable sins that IÂve committed andÂ
. IÂve made mistakes but IÂll find my way. No explanation for the things IÂve failed at before. They canÂt hold my hand. It just hurts to be a man. Through the tortures of the damned. If I only had an axe IÂd sever the ties IÂve made with the world. Maybe I can be a stranger in a strange place If I start now, maybe I can be saved. If I only had a mask, IÂd cover these bleeding eyes. TheyÂre bloodshot now but theyÂll be black by dawn. If I wake up now I can be pure again. Look at me now, IÂm on the tracks with my back towards the last train leaving town.
-Bayside
I <3 NEW SILVERSTEIN
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 2:22 AM
1 comments
this weekend I'm going to be all by myself! this sucks! everyone I know that lives near me is going out of town... even my room mates! gah!
What am I going to do with myself... boredom from hell.
having no money sucks!
and I'm going to miss every show I had planned on going to this year.... fuck!
It makes me sad and pissed!!
oh well.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 2:39 PM
0 comments
omg.... america is going down hill so fast!
I'm sitting at school.
My school is an hour away.... I car pool though.
gas prices are insane... I paid $2.44 a gallon last tuesday (even though most of the people that read my blog don't use gallons) ... it's time to get gas again and now it's $3.19 and going up as a type.
it's insane... where I live there is supposed to be gas shortages.
ACCCCCCKKKKKKKKK
how can i get to school?
this hurricane is crazy.... those floods. I may post pictures later.
posted by pink_blackbutterfly @ 10:20 AM
0 comments
This is my lovely journal that will tell you about my lovely life! ha ha ha!
I am the Captain of Pirate KelMel's LITE BRITE Ship! I am Jenni Emhof's AKA Brenton Russell Pafford's best friend! Brandy McDaniel AKA Concreka is my best friend. I am Corey White's AKA Corita's BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD! I moved to VA to go college here. I like to text message my friends it's what gets me through the school day. I'm learning to cook. I eat cherry frosted pop tarts everyday for breakfast. I think most girls ARE STUPID. I live by myself in a cold lonely apartment, but I have 2 really GREAT friends that live next door, who let me watch cable (since I don't have cable). I like to visit "Idaho" which in this case is a state of mind caused by outside sources. hehe (hope you get the drift)
