my_lovely_life____haha: October 2004

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!!!

sooooo scared

i'm so scared......my worst nightmare is coming true....on dear.

I'M SCARED!

what do with the rest of my life.....

I don't know what I'm going to with the rest of my life? I'm lost...college isn't working to well but I can't give up....can't go home. I'm not sure what's going. Sitting in class in tears...trying to draw for design class... "worried I can't do this for the rest of my life", "What will I do for the rest of my life", "I wanna quit...start over...another school???", "but wait...I my family will HATE me, I would have to run away if I give up". I just wanna do something else...but WHAT?????? I have no idea.

I NEVER

I stole this from someone's Livejournal hehe.....

To play I never, Put an (x) in front of the things that you have NEVER done and a (_) on the things that you have done at least once. When your done, add an "I NEVER" of your own.

(_) been drunk
(_) smoked pot
(_) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) crashed a friend's car
(x) been to japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x)been in love
(_) had sex
(x) had sex in public
(X)been dumped
(X)shoplifted
(x) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight
(x) had a threesome
(_)snuck out of my parent's house
(x) been caught masturbating
(_) peed on myself
(x) had sex with a member of the same sex
(x) been arrested
(_) made out with a stranger
(X) stole something from my job
(x) celebrated new years in time square
(x) gone on a blind date
(_) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to europe
(_) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
(_) cut myself on purpose
(x) had sex at the office
(x) been married
(x) gotten divorced
(x) had children
(_) lash out irrationally
(x) went to the movies just to make out in the backrow
(X) fooled around with a stripper to entertain people at a party
(x) wondered what my sister looks like naked
(_)stayed on the phone all night
(_) pulled an all-nighter 2 nights in a row
(_)Called someone a racial term
(x) Gave a lapdance
(x) Smoked crack
(_) watched a porn
(x) Hooked up with a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend
(_) Went to work still drunk from the night before
(x) Made a "home video"
(x) had a bar mitzvah
(_) been high on life
(x) been to ecuador
(_) peed in the pool
(x) taken nude pics of myself
(x) Been swordfighting with real swords
(_) seen a penguin
(x) walked in on ur parents
(x) walked on on ur brother n his gurl
(_) Hit someone in the "danger zone"
(_) Been cursed off
(X) had sex & don't remember it

I FEEL HORRIBLE!

I can't believe myself. I retract previous things I posted

That was very mean of me to say! I still like those things about myself, but I shouldn't put other people down.

Corey White made me cry today....I deserved it though. He didn't do it on purpose...but it happened. I'm a horrible person...the only thing that pointed out the things that I like about myself was me making fun of someone else. I tried to share the laughter w/ Corey but he made me feel bad. I shouldn't make fun of other people....especially when I don't know them. I didn't realize how bad I did do it until.....Corey said...."Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Boy did I feel like shit. I was expecting him to say she wasn't pretty, but all he said was "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". WOW I'm shitty person! I can't believe it. I can't believe how horrible I feel. I'm a CHANGED PERSON. SERIOUSLY. I called my friend, who loves to make fun of people...I thought in the back of my mind she would make me feel better...maybe justify what I said....but come to find out she just realized today how bad she made fun of ppl and how wrong it was. She feels horrible too. So needless to say that made me feel even more horrible, but reiterated the fact that it was wrong...And I need to change. umm now I just feel horrible... I don't know what too do????? I don't know how to fix this feeling....I feel that there is no way to fix this injustice. And me out of all people have no room to talk about people! I'm changed! I promise.

well.....i can be happy now!

~ I may NOT have perky boobs
~ I may NOT have a butt
~ I may NOT have a flat stomach
~ I may NOT be good enough for anyone unless they are drunk

BUT .....at least I'm not FULL of myself. I don't think my shit don't stink.
I'm not conceded....Especially for no reason.
~~lol I'm cracking my self up! hehehahahahahehehehHahaha! This sooooo funny!

New info has changed my mind on something! hehe
~I'M SOOOO HAPPY TO BE ME!!!!!!!!
~no matter what this one person thinks

~I HAVE a pretty face
~I HAVE pretty hair
~I HAVE pretty teeth
~I HAVE pretty eyes

I WISH I COULD SHARE THE DETAILS......I think you would be cracking up too!

feelingg00d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm trying to join this SUPER COOL community on live journal! you should soooooo check it out!

join !!

It's really COOL!

boy.....was I HYPER.....OR INSANE

LOL! OH DEAR.....today...well actually tonight was very interesting....I was very hyper to say the least. I was acting very strangely...kinda like cory cory doggett. I called jenni...she thought I was drunk...then she thought I drank and drove (she was very mad) . I hadn't had anything to drink..HONESTLY! Then when we finally convinced her other wise she thought it was for another reason....(oh dear)...ummm that definitely didn't happen (well, it wouldn't have been a bad thing, but well...I doubt the other person..well never mind) ((sorry to burst your bubble Jenni, but nope that did not happen sorry {it might of been nice though. hehe}))
Well my friends are great! But sometimes they like to meddle in things....things that are fine the way they are. Jenni your so great....but I'm sorry...I don't see it happening! REALLY SORRY TO BURST YOU BUBBLE.

lol...I think I'm going to fail my college student success class....oh dear!
Boy was reading boring today...blah blah blah I didn't pay attention at all..I thought about other things the whole time. A class like that will remind you how much girls really do think about sex. hehe!

Sunday......full of midterms and movies

Well....right now I'm watching Kill Bill.....a great movie!

~Don't you just love how 1 thing can make or break your whole day; 1 thing can change your entire mood.....~
-boyI DO!
-NOT REALLY !
-It's kind of aggervating!
-but oh well that's how life is!

I also love the way we are all getting OLD! We have only been in college half of a semester and now.....we act like we are in our 40's or 50's.....oh dear.....College life is supposed to be full of parties and fun....staying up late....not around here....actually as far as I can tell not anywhere at least not the people I know!

RoXyStAr0516: we are getting old... :-(

I spent all day today writing a mid term paper and watching Kill Bill and Shrek..... funfun!
I've been ready to go to bed since 7 pm....tisk tisk....I'm getting old!

I love Donkey...."I'm all alone there's no one here beside me. My problems have all gone.... but you gotta have friends"

thoughts and quotes

~Sometimes wanting somthing is better than actually having it. (i read this on someone's blog)
(this makes the wheels in my mind turn)

~We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met?

~Loneliness the clearest of crystal insight into your own soul, its the fear of one's own self that haunts the lonely.

~Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

"Breathing"

Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close

The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold

And even though you are next to me I still feel so alone

I just can't give you anything for you to call your own

And I can feel you breathing

And it's keeping me awake

Can you feel it beating?

My heart's sinking like a weight

Something I've been keeping locked away behind my lips

I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss

I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now

Things that I was sure of, they have filled me up with doubt

And I can feel you breathing

And it's keeping me awake

Can you feel it beating?

My heart's sinking like a weight

I can feel you breathing

It's keeping me awake

Could you stop my heart?

It's always beating.

Sinking like a weight

How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?

I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run

I know that I hurt you, things will never be the same

The only love I ever knew, I threw it all away

And I can feel you breathing

And it's keeping me awake

Can you feel it beating?

My heart's sinking like a weight

I can feel you breathing

It's keeping me awake

Could you stop my heart? It's always beating.

Sinking like a weight

"The Ghost Of A Good Thing"

I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same

Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame

Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said

“Love is like a role that we play.”

But, I believe in you so much

I could die for the words that you say

But, I believe in you so much

I could die from the words that you say

But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing

Haunting yourself as the real thing

It’s getting away from you again

While you’re chasin’ ghosts

I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same

Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame

Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said

“Love is like a role that we play.”

But, I believe in you so much

I could die for the words that you say

But, I believe in you so much

I could die from the words that you say

But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing

Haunting yourself as the real thing

It’s getting away from you again

While you’re chasin’ ghosts

Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit

Like they were made for it

But, they weren’t meant for this

No, they weren’t meant for this

Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit

Like they were made for it

But, they weren’t meant for this

Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing

Haunting yourself as the real thing

It’s getting away, away, away, away from you again

Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing

Haunting yourself as the real thing

It’s getting away from you again

While you’re chasin’ ghosts

bored.....so ummm I'll fill out one of these

I got this from someone else's blog!

DESCRIBE YOUR..
~Wallet - tan with brown flowers on it, it say xoxo
~Hairbrush - pink with a sliver end
~Toothbrush - orange and white with little orange massagers for your gums
~ Jewelry worn daily -none
~Pillow cover[s] - hot pink to match the hot pink and black zebra print in my room
~ Blanket - black comforter, a leopard print comforter, and a quilt made my my great grandmother
~ Coffee cup - has strawberries on it to match my plates
~Sunglasses - pink and square (actually i stole them from jenni who stole them from kellie)
~ Underwear - bikini
~ Favorite shirt - that would have to be my yellow sugarcult shirt
~Cologne/Perfume - Pink from Victoria Secret / Ralph Lauren
~ Tattoos -1 pink/black and blue butter fly

~Piercings - 1 in my right ear, 2 in my left
~What you are wearing now -white bruster's shirt, pink pj like pants, black socks w/ monkeys
~In head - thoughts and questions; ponderings
~Wishing - things that will most likely never happen
~After this - going to bed/ or blog
~Fetishes - shoes....i guess
~If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? It would be Josh Nessmiller b/c he WAS my best friend, but umm now he doesn't know who I am (to make a very long story short) or Stephanie P (she's nasty, slutty,bitch that uses people )
~Person you wish you could see right now - ummmm???? I'll keep that one to myself (sorry)
~Is next to you - remote
~Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - halloween.. starting my new job
~The last thing you ate - oreos with milk
~ Something that you are deathly afraid of - BEING ALONE (which I think I will :( ), Spiders, and bugs
~Do you like candles? Yes
~ Do you like incense? sometimes
~ Do you like the taste of blood? totally NOT
~Do you believe in love? Yes
~Do you believe in soul mates? Yes (& i don't have one)
~Do you believe in love at first sight? ummm no not really
~Do you believe in Heaven? Yes
~ Do you believe in God - Yes
~ If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - a doggie (i'm not sure what kind)
~ What is the latest you've ever stayed up - # days
~Can you eat with chopsticks? - kinda
~ What's your favorite coin ? i don't know
~ What are some of your favorite candies - snickers, blow pops
~ What's something that you wish people would understand - why i do some of the things i do (like why I'm really quiet and down sometimes)
~ What's something you wish you could understand better - guys/ or why girls are so stupid
~Who is someone that you really wish was still around - ummm good question....I'll have to get back to this one....sometimes at my lowest moments (josh n.) grrrrrrr but that isn't a good answer....b/c i miss him out of insanity!

BURRRRR IT'S COLD!

BURRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S REALLY COLD! I don't want to turn on the heat! oh dear.....it looks as if I will have to pretty soon! I need someone to keep me warm at night!

I really need to be working on my project....midterm...shimidterm....I don't care about that damn paper....actually I DO but I'm just lazy! hehe!

Team America is HILAROUS!

OH DEAR.....I need to call maintance about my bath tub....it still has water in it from yesterday morning....ewwwww huh! Well I'll call monday! yeah monday!

SLEEPY AND CONFUSED

I really need to be studying for my HTML midterm! but well, I'm not! SHITS TO HELL!
If I know it I know it if I don't I don't! Oh dear.....not a great attitude to have!

well.....I'm really confused! Being a girl sucks....I hate the stupid girl tendencies....I'm soooo above them!

OOOOOOO GUESS WHAT???? I made a new friend! Cory Cory Doggett's new kitten! We were both scared of each other at first....but then we became friends! She went to sleep on my lap! She tries to bite Cory and Brent but she lets me pet her! AWWWWW!

~ for someone who doesn't like cats actually someone who is scared of cats I'm doing very well!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life sucks!

I hate being a girl! right now I am being a stupid girl but that happens sometimes. Girls have these weird stupid emotions.....that REALLY SUCK!
I feel really....umm I don't know how to describe it, but it sucks!
You always get what you ask for. You really think you want something.....but then when you finally get it....it really isn't what you wanted at all. I have learned this lesson the hard way too many times now! I HATE IT!

well this song kind of descibes my feeling....

The Only One

when i look in your eyes
and i still feel the same
i know it's hopeless
when i look to the sky
and the stars spell out your name
i know it's hopeless
amnesia, really need ya
i wanna lose my mind
in a place that i won't find
forgetting is hard
when you're the only one
that made things easy
you're the only one that eases me
i remember the times
when my shoulder held your head
and i would wonder
how did they finds
such a perfect fit
oh how i wondered
(i never wanted to take you home)
amnesia, really need ya
i wanna lose my mind
in a place that i won't find
so call me now
you know that you want to
i need to hear your voice
to talk me back into existence

I've decided that umm.... that this whole problem I have.....well I decided not to think about it any more. I need to get over it! Yeah it's kind of a stupid girl thing....so I shouldn't do it since I'm not a stupid girl! This won't kill me! I will live. This problem will still be here...but I will just ignore it b/c there is nothing I can do about! Nothing I can change!

well......BUBBLE UPDATE: NONEXISTENT!.....YEAP IT'S GONE! (not really but I need to move on, although....as stated before it is a never ending cycle)

this is bad.... I almost miss Josh Nessmiller.....Oh HELL NO! I should never feel this sad.....so sad that I want to talk to his punk, lying, ass! OH DEAR.....I hope I haven't fell in to that deep of a hole! NOPE.....I CAN'T miss talking to him! FORGET I EVEN SAID IT! I DON'T!

Counting stars wishing I was okay

Crashing down was my biggest mistake

I never ever ever meant to hurt you

I only did what I had to Counting stars again

Hey, I'll take this day by day by day

Under the covers I'm okay I guess

Life's too short and I feel small

~Sugarcult~

"My Eyes Burn"

My eyes burn from these tears

You'd think I'd learn over these years

Good things won't last forever

So what the hell am I suppose to do

You only wanted the things I couldn't give to you

And you had it all anyway

So take take everything and leave me scrambling

Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

So take take everything and leave me scrambling

Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

Tell me i'm wrong when I say

I can't expect you to stay forever with me

I live for that single moment

I take back everything i've said

You wore those words on your lips

As if they meant anything anyway

Sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth

It seems I do more harm than good

And I don't know if it's worth me loosing sleep over this

So take take everything and leave me scrambling

Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

So take take everything and leave me scrambling

Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

Tell me I'm wrong when I say it

I can't expect you to spend forever with me

I live for that single moment

So take take everything and leave me scrambling

Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place

~Matchbook Romance~

worried......very worried

I'm worried! I am very concerned about a friend right now!!!!!!! I don't know .....it's really scary, but there is nothing i can do. These worries should find solace tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

I am also worried.....for me.....a different reason of course....but still worried.
I am really scared. I have no one to talk to about this..... REALLY I don't. Hopefully...... these worries are relieved. It's odd how someone else's problem can make your problems look so stupid and insignificant........ and then make you realize that you could have bigger ones!

WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?.................HUMMMMMM????????????

I think I need sleep.....I am very sleep deprived right now!

Bubble Update: still confused.....still an iffy thing! As of right now....I am leaning towards a possible leak.....(but compared to the problems above this bubble is NOT IMPORANT)

Bubble Update......Vs.....Other real life problems

Bubble update: well.....I'm not sure how my bubble is......new info as made this iffy. I think it could have a small leakage problem.

AFTER...... Tonight's findings......

Revised bubble update: well.....hell compared to other people's problems my bubble don't mean shit!!!!! Really it doesn't exist.....Boy are my little stupid problems insignificant!

Guess Who's Apartment This Should Go In?????

LOL THIS SHOULD DEFINITELY BE PUT NEXT DOOR! LOL

CONDOMS

lol this picture is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had to add it!!!!!!

HEY BRENT DO YOU SELL THESE KIND OF CONDOMS AT WORK????

I found a new band!

I FOUND 2 NEW BANDS FOR ME TO LISTEN TOO!!!!! .....well at least they are new to me!
THE MILE AFTER & FROM FIRST TO LAST!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AWSOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ordered their cd's .... so now I have new songs to learn!!!!

I didn't make a totally new picture to put on here.... I did make 1 for My space so I might put it on here for fun.

I'm going to Rock Hill tonight.......I'M REALLY EXCITED!!!!!!

I'm bored.....I need to be painting....but I just can't make myself do it! lol

I need a job.....this crap of sitting on the computer on tues & thurs isn't working....PLUS I NEED MONEY....... yeah.. I just ordered CD'S & STORY OF THE YEAR TICKETS.

well.............................. I really need to be painting....so I think I will. BLAH.....I HATE CUBES!

BUBBLE UPDATE: SAME AS BEFORE.....JUST FINE.... ! LOTS OF AIR AND NO LEAKS!

wed....READING & EDITING

WELL!!!!! I went to reading today...fun right! actually is was! wow what a suprise. We got there and our teacher told us we were having an picnic. hummm. on the coldest day yet. we thought she had really flipped her lid! But it was for the whole school! Then, when we did go back to class she told us stories about the 60's w/ war protests, we talked about Kerry&Bush, her neighborhood flooding, and all kinds of stuff! I found out my friend that lives on 1st street is going to run for city council. I would vote for her if I could.

I cleaned Pasticho Margarita's bowl today....it was very dirty. I took my editing mid term....no sweat. I thought it was going to be really bad like his essay questions, but it was multiply choice. Now I am at home I've cooked, washed dishes, and tidied around the house. Now I am working on my mid term project for DEAT. (yes the devil's throat). I think i might make another super cool picture to go on here! Well I'm sure I will post later!

OH DEAR.....MID TERMS

boy! I have a mid term tomorrow! fun fun! I really need to be studying.... Yeap I need to be studying! Well I really think girls are stupid.....(watching Laguna Beach proves my point and adds more points every time).

well I made this totally tight picture in photoshop today! I made it b/c me, jenni, corey and kellie were arguing over Bush or Kerry for president! Jenni got mad and sad that me, kellie, and kerry could sail off in our burning boat.
since we are pirates and all!

so here is my TERRIFIC PICTURE!!!!!!!!

CAPTAIN Pirate KelMel, ME , AND KERRY!!!!!! OH YES WE Are in Kel Mel's LITE BRITE SHIP! OH WOULDN'T BE A PERFECT WORLD!!!! LOL

by the way:
BUBBLE UPDATE: same as before..... patched....Inflated...and doing good! No complaints here!

oh dear....oh dear....oh dear

why? why? why? why does my friend want to be with crappy guys......oh dear...... Elton you can do so much better! there is someone out there for you.....who's better than those crappy guys.

WHY GIRLS AER STUPID

ONE REASON: Girls think that their friends can only have 1 friend. (girls get jealous when their friends hang out with someone else)

2 perfect examples of stupid girls

a few reasons why i will vote kerry

Create Good-Paying JobsAs president, John Kerry will cut taxes for businesses that create jobs here in America instead of moving them overseas. John Kerry and John Edwards will also stand up for workers by enforcing our trade agreements.

Cut Middle-Class Taxes To Raise Middle-Class IncomesWhen John Kerry is president, middle-class taxes will go down. Ninety-eight percent of all Americans and 99 percent of American businesses will get a tax cut under the Kerry-Edwards plan.

Make Washington Live Within A BudgetJohn Kerry will cut the deficit in half during his first four years in office. He will end corporate welfare as we know it, roll back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, and impose a real cap to keep spending in check. And when John Kerry puts forward a new idea, he'll tell you how he's going to pay for it.

Invest In The Jobs Of TomorrowToday, businesses are harnessing new technology to manufacture energy-efficient cars, high-grade steel, advanced plastics and other new products. And this requires a bigger, skilled labor force to make them. John Kerry and John Edwards believe we should invest in these jobs and invest in the people who will fill them.

the election

well i have just been informed that supposedly that Bush should be reelected......umm i think not

point 1 why bush should be president: if kerry is elected he will keep abortion and all the babies will be killed and there will no orphans for all the gay married couples to adopt.

lol i think not! that will not happen

2 more reasons WHY GIRLS ARE STUPID

ONE REASON: Even if her boyfriend abuses&/or beats her she will stay with him (b/c she loves him).......dumb.....bitch

ONE REASON: Even if her boyfriend cheats she will stay with him.
(I know a STUPID GIRL who done this one ....he cheated and still does all the time (if they are not together he's out cheating) she knows and says she doesn't care) ((she even lost her friends over this one (she said she didn't care what we said)))

SUNDAY BUBBLE UPDATE

BUBBLE UPDATE: WELL.... some air was leaking.....but then a brust of hope came.......then it was patched.... then i can even say the patch was reinforced.....and maybe even the bubble got bigger.......

a little side note: i told someone my secret...
umm i think i started some crap ..... opp's my bad
the things you say when you are drunk..... oh dear.....oh dear.....oh dear

Bubble update

BUBBLE UPDATE: as for most of the weekend went.......some burst of hope brought air and some leaked back out.....

an example of a STUPID GIRL

SHE IS A STUPID GIRL!!!!!!!!! IF YOU WATCH SURREAL LIFE....YOU'LL SEE PLENTY OF EXAMPLES OF WHY GIRLS ARE STUPID.....

MY LIST!!!!!!!!!! WHY GIRLS ARE STUPID!!!!

I'm going to start working on a list of all the reasons why girls are STUPID!!!!
Even though I am a girl......

I BELIEVE that girls ARE STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS LEAVE ME A COMMENT OF IT! PLEASE!!!!

ONE REASON: A girl will cheat on her boyfriend and expect him to be there for her when she feels bad about it!

ONE REASON: Girls are jealous over STUPID things... They get jealous over anything

ONE REASON: Girls feelings get hurt way too EASILY.

ummm I got this from The Life and Times Of Gareth Hedges

Last cigarette: when I was like 5 um I about died from choking on it.
Last car ride: With Brent, Cory, Elizabeth, Jamie we went to Toco bell and wal-mart
Last kiss: i'd rather not say....um bad memory yuck I was very stupid.....
Last good cry: um I think last week or so i cried myself to sleep I was lonely
Last library book checked out: um for a Psychology project last year...um wait i didn't even check it out my friend did
Last movie seen: last night we watched swim fan
Last cuss word uttered: damn...
Last beverage drank: cola.
Last food consumed: oreo ice cream
Last crush: um... thats a secret... I know they don't like me......so only the select few know that....
he might read this...... so umm yeah it is a secret
Last phone call: last night Brandy called .....cause she loves me
Last TV show watched: um I don't have cable but if I watched something next door then it was something on MTV
Last time showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: right now as I type flip flops
Last cd played: Yellow Card
Last downloaded: senses fail or sugarcult
Last annoyance: School
Last disappointment: well....moving to this place I guess but it's geting better ...being lonely
Last soda drank: sams cola (wal-mart) it's cheap
Last key used: the one to get in to my apartment
Last sleep: last night from 12am-ish to 1o am
Last person u saw: Jamie and Elizabeth if this is asking the last person I saw and they are not in my presence......the last person I saw/and they are in my presence is brent
Last sexual fantasy: um I think I'll keep that to myself....
Last weird encounter: ummm i'm not sure ..the weird guy that live in our apartments..(womens and moneys)
Last ice cream eaten: Herseys oreo ice cream....its not as good as brusters
Last time wanting to die: don't really recall
Last time hugged: I hugged Elizabeth and Jamie before they left to go to the BIG ROCK HILL
Last lipstick used: um I'd have to say at Prom..really expensive kind from belk it was $ 20
Last underwear worn: pretty bikini panites with flowers
Last bra worn: mine....the one I have on right now
Last shirt worn: my white and pink carolina girl shirt
Last time dancing: yesterday while listening to sugar cult
Last poster looked at: one in wal-mart
Last web page visited: The Life & Times Of Gareth Hedges

STORY OF THE YEAR

well I'm really excited about going to see STORY OF THE YEAR!!!!!!! I think I might order tickets today! yeap I can't wait!!!!!!!!!

rock hill

MY FRIENDS IN ROCK HILL MAKE ME VERY SAD!!!!!!!!! THEY DON'T LOVE ME ANY MORE! BRANDY CALLED ME SO SHE STILL LOVES ME......DANA TEXTED ME SO SHE LOVES ME.....AND HEATHER TEXTED ME SO SHE LOVES ME AND I JUST STARTED BEING FRIENDS SO THAT SAYS A LOT ABOUT HER. BRANDY EVEN CALLED ME WHEN SHE WAS ON THE WAY DO HANG OUT WITH HER FRIENDS . THANKS TO YOU GUYS WHO DO LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!! THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SUGARCULT SONGS

"Memory"

This may never start.

We could fall apart.

And I'd be your memory.

Lost your sense of fear.

Feelings insincere.

Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.

Just like I imagine.

I could never feel this way.

So get back, back, back to the disaster.

My heart's beating faster.

Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.I'll tear us apart.

Can I be your enemy?

Losing half a year.

Waiting for you hereI'd be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.

Just like I imagine.

I could never feel this way.

So get back, back, back to the disaster.

My heart's beating faster.

Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.

Tearing out my heart.

I'd be your memory.

Lost your sense of fear.

(I'd be your memory)Feelings insincere.

Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.

Just like I imagine.

I could never feel this way.

So get back, back, back to the disaster.

My heart's beating faster.

Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.

We could fall apart And I'd be your memory.

Lost your sense of fear.Feelings insincere.

Can I be your memory?

bUbBlE uDaTe

BUBBLE UPDATE.......air leaked out and air got pushed back in all night long.......in and out.....in and out........

bUBBLE uPDATE

BUBBLE UPDATE...... A LITTLE BURST OF HOPE BROUGHT SOME AIR

Bubble Update

BUBBLE UPDATE....... IT JUST GOT A HOLE POKED IN IT........THE AIR IS LEAKING

BUBBLE UPDATE

BUBBLE UPDATE....... IT WAS PATCHED.... EARLY TODAY

Bubble update

BUBBLE UPDATE.....last night a little burst of hope brought some air

a break......and thinking

WELL I'M TAKING A BREAK FROM MY PHOTOSHOP PROJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'v been thinking.....why is it when you finally think you've given up on something, you finally think that you are over it, you finally think oh well, you finally think you'll move on..........you get this little burst of HOPE? SURE IT'S GREAT.....but a sure as that burst of hope comes......so does something to make it go away. This goes on and on, over and over. A BURST OF HOPE BLOWS UP YOUR BUBBLE.....THEN SOMETHING COMES ALONG AND POKES A HOLE IN YOUR BUBBLE....THEN WHEN ALMOST ALL THE AIR IS GONE A LITTLE SOMETHING COMES ALONG AND PUTS SOME AIR BACK IN THE BUBBLE....THEN THE AIR STARTS LEAKING BACK OUT.....THEN SOMETHING COMES ALONG AND PATCHES THE BUBBLE.....THIS CYCLE GOES ON AND ON!!!!!!

That subject that as been troubling me ....well a while back I found SOLACE..... well then it troubled me for a while......then I all of a sudden found solace. UMM
I don't know. It's not really that big of deal and it doesn't bother me that bad.......I WAS JUST THINKING.

my_lovely_life____haha

Sunday, October 31, 2004

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Saturday, October 30, 2004

sooooo scared

Thursday, October 28, 2004

what do with the rest of my life.....

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I NEVER

Sunday, October 24, 2004

I FEEL HORRIBLE!

well.....i can be happy now!

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

feelingg00d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 18, 2004

boy.....was I HYPER.....OR INSANE

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Sunday......full of midterms and movies

thoughts and quotes

Saturday, October 16, 2004

bored.....so ummm I'll fill out one of these

BURRRRR IT'S COLD!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

SLEEPY AND CONFUSED

Monday, October 11, 2004

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 10, 2004

worried......very worried

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Bubble Update......Vs.....Other real life problems

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Guess Who's Apartment This Should Go In?????

CONDOMS

I found a new band!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

wed....READING & EDITING

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

OH DEAR.....MID TERMS

Monday, October 04, 2004

oh dear....oh dear....oh dear

WHY GIRLS AER STUPID

a few reasons why i will vote kerry

the election

2 more reasons WHY GIRLS ARE STUPID

Sunday, October 03, 2004

SUNDAY BUBBLE UPDATE

Bubble update

an example of a STUPID GIRL

MY LIST!!!!!!!!!! WHY GIRLS ARE STUPID!!!!

ummm I got this from The Life and Times Of Gareth Hedges

STORY OF THE YEAR

rock hill

Saturday, October 02, 2004

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SUGARCULT SONGS

bUbBlE uDaTe

Friday, October 01, 2004

bUBBLE uPDATE

Bubble Update

BUBBLE UPDATE

Bubble update

a break......and thinking

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